EMBAH

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

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Dear Embah,

It has been 17 years since you left. I miss when you were around here, in this world. Back then, you were always there for balik kampung.

Remember your buaian kayu in front of your house? I used to play on it a lot back then.

Remember when you used to have a toilet outside your house? I used to be scared when I need to use it during night.

Remember when you followed us moving to a new house? That was Umi's first house.

Remember when we celebrated Hari Raya, we will sit together in a big circle and ask forgiveness on our kneel in line. I remember you talked something when I salam you even though I can't recall what it was. And you always gave duit raya with no sampul from your dompet kecik kaler merah.

Remember when you always there at kampung? Since you left, there was no one lives there and we once visited it after you left. It feels empty there but it still holds your trace and our childhood memory.

Embah, I'd grown up knowing that it was just you in that house since Nenek had passed away when I am not even one. I am sure you did not know about this. But when you left, I cried knowing that there will be no more grandfather in my life, that there will be no more balik kampung, and there will be no one living in that house.

Embah, I still can remember the day you left. It was early in the morning. Umi suddenly woke me up and started packing. I asked her what happened and she said you had left. Till today, I still can remember her face on that day.

Embah, after you left, I had once dream about your house. I was walking toward your house but there was no one around. Then, I found a man and asked him about you. But he just smiled and nodded his head. Suddenly I just woke up and without any reason, I just cried. I still remember that I missed you so much that night.

Embah, it is hurt. Though you were here around me for only ten years, I'd miss you so much, can you imagine how much Umi had missed you since you'd left. It hurts to see her misses you and Nenek.

Embah, Umi really doing well in her life. All the things she'd achieved, she always dedicated it for both of you. She always told us about you. How well you'd raised her and others. How she'd grew up with you. How every things is related to you. How fun it was when you were around. Even though she never mentions that she misses you, I can tell from her face. She deserves to meet you again and I will always pray for that. Embah, thank you for raising an amazing mother to me.

Embah, time sure passed a lot since you left. There have been so many things that have happened since then. When you left, we lived in Rawang, then we moved several times and now we had settled down in Bukit Beruntung. When you left, it was just five of us, siblings. Now, there are seven of us.

When you left, I was in primary school but now I'd completed my degree and started working. When you left, Umi was a degree holder but now she is a Master holder and intended to do a PhD.

When you left, all of your cucus were so small and young. But now, some of us even got married and have our own family. When you left, your sister was still here but now, she had passed away and completely left us no place anymore to balik kampung.

Embah, I miss balik kampung. I miss your house. I miss celebrating Hari Raya with you. I miss you.

Embah, Selamat Hari Raya.

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13/05/2021